Category: social-psychology

Identifying Triggers and Shame to Short-Circuit Automated Reactions, Defensiveness, and Trauma Responses

March 17, 2025

Last week, I posted a silly video to YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, wherein I talked about how sometimes I’ll hear a song out of the blue, and it’ll trigger a strong emotional response in me. In this video, I specifically talked about “All That She Wants” by Ace of Base, and how I only needed … More Identifying Triggers and Shame to Short-Circuit Automated Reactions, Defensiveness, and Trauma Responses

The Patterns I’ve Seen and Lessons I’ve Learned as I Heal My Fearful Avoidant Attachment

March 11, 2025

I have spent a lot of the past year or so learning about attachment styles and how they impact relationships. It started with me wanting to try and understand other people in my life, but it became more of a journey of self-discovery, where I finally landed on realising that I had a disorganised attachment … More The Patterns I’ve Seen and Lessons I’ve Learned as I Heal My Fearful Avoidant Attachment

Attempting to End the Quest for External Validation, Once and for All

November 17, 2024

As a teenager, I felt like getting my mum’s approval was the most important thing for me. It didn’t feel automatic or unconditional, but I loved making her feel proud. I felt like she had certain expectations of me, and if I didn’t live up to them, I wouldn’t be “good enough.” She was a … More Attempting to End the Quest for External Validation, Once and for All

Nostalgia Reigns the Longer This Pandemic Lasts, Or Why I’ve Been Missing Malaysia Recently

May 26, 2021

We’re now sitting at over 14 months since the pandemic shut down everything in the San Francisco Bay Area in March 2020. I feel like I’ve gone through a whole gamut of emotions and experiences since it started. There’s been a lot of feeling of disconnect from the life I had prior to the pandemic. … More Nostalgia Reigns the Longer This Pandemic Lasts, Or Why I’ve Been Missing Malaysia Recently

Be a Cheerleader and Reduce Interaction with Permanent Nay Sayers

May 14, 2021

Think about the kinds of people you want to have in your life. Do you prefer the people who support your dreams and talents, or do you prefer the ones who constantly criticize you with the excuse that they’re pushing you to be “realistic” or “you won’t improve without learning what you’re doing wrong”? Now … More Be a Cheerleader and Reduce Interaction with Permanent Nay Sayers

The Social Dilemma, Social Engineering, and Ethics in Social Media

March 29, 2021

Whilst I’ve been unemployed during the pandemic, the excess free time has afforded me opportunities to think more deeply about certain issues that impact my life. Especially considering 2020 was an election year, and we saw how social media impacted the 2016 election. Social media has been my primary way of connecting with friends for … More The Social Dilemma, Social Engineering, and Ethics in Social Media

When I Blog and Use Social Media, I Write for Myself and My Friends… Though I Have a Wider Audience

January 22, 2021

I’ve been writing about and sharing my life online on-and-off since I first got a LiveJournal account around 20 years ago (sometime in the year 2001). One of the things I liked about LiveJournal was that you could filter your audience because there was an actual community there, and you could learn about others and … More When I Blog and Use Social Media, I Write for Myself and My Friends… Though I Have a Wider Audience

Beach in Cherating, Malaysia

Honesty is the Best Policy… But Balancing it with Privacy is a Challenge (for Me)

January 4, 2021

This is a topic I’ve wanted to write about for a while. I consider myself an honest person, and value it pretty highly in myself as well as in other people. However, much of my relationship experience has involved more private men. They certainly didn’t fit the stereotype of the man who brags about their … More Honesty is the Best Policy… But Balancing it with Privacy is a Challenge (for Me)